in which we are driven crazy by the writer and her insane need to leave her residence for another. plus, a song!

today is getting to be one of those days i wished i were elsewhere. sunday at church was like this too. it's just one of those things. summers make me feel that way anyway. but now, i feel like i just need to be collecting on my happiness or something along those lines.

sometimes, i think you just have to give fate a little push. i know i should be praying, which i am, but when the phone isn't ringing and no one is even admitting you're applying there, it's really hard not to. but, since i got a scholarship for doula training, it's like, that's where i'm supposed to be right now. back home in a great little town that isn't where i live right now. if only i could move there now and get a place to stay. too bad no one i know has a room for free in exchange for light housework and cooking.

when i was working the delic at a grocery store, there was this song i got really annoyed at cause they played it way too much. i remember the chorus:

i gotta back,
i do i do.
i gotta get back,
i do i do i do.

i really should go find that song. off i go then.

summer time dci blues

do you ever wonder if you made the right decisions in life? or rather, what would have happened if you went another way? it's not really a question of regret, but of what if?

me, i was just thinking, what if i had gone to play bass with the troopers and not plates (aka cymbals) with pioneer? wyoming that i know nothing about or milwaukee where we flipped off the planes from gen. mitchell airport and i flew over the land when i left.

first off, i wouldn't have know all the people i knew.

second, i wouldn't have known the one person i really don't like from that summer (hey, i really did have a dream about her where i beat her up and others had to restrain us!).

third, i wouldn't have quite the same memories.

i suppose it's something i shouldn't dwell on. hey, i got to do corps, which is something a lot of people never get to do. i even got to impress a coworker. right now, it's probably me just reminiscing and missing summers traveling and wanting to be out touring or something.

it's a summer i'll never forget. i've still got the scars to prove i was there. i even got the jacket and the memories. i should really put up those age out pics. i still remember this one night, probably in the fall, sitting in someone's room at bruce hall watching corps videos and getting in trouble for them being too loud.

rich he said, "wouldn't it be cool if we all marched next summer?"

yeah rich, it really was cool when we all did.