Birthday Blues

My birthday is less than two months away. My plan last year for this birthday was don’t plan anything cause you’ll only get disappointed.


As of late, that’s pretty much how I’ve felt about my birthday and trying to do anything- I end up getting disappointed. Barely, if anyone, shows up. Okay, last year there was a good crowd of roughly ten-ish for the movie we went to. The year before, only person who didn’t live at the duplex showed up for a grand total of three guests.

Yeah, my birthdays can be rather disappointing at times.

I like having a something for my birthday. Dinner, movie, whatever. I like occasionally getting gifts or cards and making my amazon birthday wishlist. I like having an excuse for cake. I like getting to hang out with people that I like.   But, again, not a whole lot of people tend to come. Even when I am co-hosting a party, I'm pretty sure most people come because of the co-host and not me. And no, this isn't a pity party and not it isn't always true. But it's been pretty evident in previous year's birthdays. Yes, they were fun parties. Yes, I enjoyed and was grateful for the people who showed up. But, alas, most were guests of the other person with a limited number of mutual guests.   I know I'm not an outgoing person. I'm always the shy one and often feel rather overlooked. No, this isn't always true. It just feels like it is.   Will I do something for my birthday? Probably. Maybe. I would simply because I want to do something and would be more disppointed in not doing something.   Will a lot of people (ie, a good chunk of the people I invite and definately more than 15) come? Probably not. If they do, I'll be INSANELY surprised.    Is this a good year for a surprise party/dinner/whatever? Oh yeah. Speaking of which. My birthday (September 30) is on a Monday, so the Saturday before would be a great day. I'll be working all day (til 6:15). The following Saturday I will hopefully be at FenCon and am more than willing to miss some of the evening's activities if you wanted to steal me away. Oh, and FenCon is in Addison.    And don't get me wrong; I've had some good birthdays. Last year's FINALLY getting to seee Serenity in the theatre on my birthday (it opened September 30th 2005) was great and I love the people who came and were glad they were there. I even had a theatre full of people singing 'happy birthday' to me, wchich is something you don't always get. The year I turned 26 (aka- the birthday I had pnuemonia and didn't know it) was fun even though Tia's closed it required a last minute venue change to a restaurant I now love- El Guapo's. An an evening at the pink flamingo lounge (which I'd love to redo sometime since a good chunk of people I know now I didn't then) was a fun idea that I'd love to expound on. Turning 30 was good too. Turning 16.... well I didn't have a sweet 16 if that's what your asking. I suppose that's why I dream of a dance party.     At this point, I suddenly have no urge to plan anything. I may just stick to dinner at El Guapo's on the day of, if I'm not working late (there's always that possibility and I'd get off at 8:15) and partaking in my annual tradition of listening to Green Day's Wake Me Up When September Ends so that the songs ends just as October begins. Truthfully, Green Day is the only thing that's planned.   ♫She's thirty-three this time around♫