Age, Fear, and Other Things

I'm a musical creature. Like a recent Facebook meme says, "if you can't deal with me busting out into song about what we're talking about, you can't be my friend." Or at least something like that. And you can still be my friend. Even if you don't get the song references.

Anywho. For years, different ages have had songs. I know there are those "mythical" ages where big things happen. But, to some extent, people have their own, individual "mythical" ages. Some examples of my age songs are:

"Drinking in L.A." by Bran Van 3000,
What the hell am I doing drinking in L.A. at 26

"Middle Ground" by Mary Chapin Carpenter for my current age,
She's 33 this time around

And the song that's the cause for my big birthday, "Club Cherry Bomb" by John Mellencamp
Seventeen has turned thirty-five

What I mean by "mythical" age is that age that just seems like you're going to have everything figured out. Or maybe it's just some number that you think will be amazing. You may not have things figured out by that age. It could be the suckiest year ever. But maybe things will work out. You never know. For a friend, it was 27. For me, like I said, it's 35. It just always sounded like a lovely age I suppose. I know age really isn't anything but a number that signifies how long you've been lucky enough to be alive.

I turn 35 in just under a year and half. I'm not scared of this age I've looked forward to for years. I'm thinking I should start setting goals for this age. I've already, in a sense, starting heading towards a better life by then.

Fear is something we all deal with. Especially when making a big change or doing something we really want to do. It's always a giant leap and personally, I hate heights. I don't like flying because I'm so far from the ground. To this day, I will never fly on a plane with the numbers 815 or 316 because of Lost.

But today, I did jump off the proverbial cliff and applied to- and was accepted- to massage school.

I'm scared half to death. I'm scared of never finding the bottom. I'm scared of not being able to accomplish the goal at hand. But I suppose that's what jumping is all about; taking that chance just to see where you'll land. As my roommate says about my Faith poppet, "sometimes you just need a little Faith."

And so with faith I go. Because that's about all I've got right now. But faith, like hope, is a good thing.